A pathetic urge to feel away
So by my window I smoke a big J.
As I inhale, my head turns into a big empty stadium.
The street lights are on and everybody sleeps.
The air is cold, I can see my breath from inside my room.
Ashes fall into my notebook. I dirty my pinky by sweeping them off.
I feel better than dead.
There is an ease to my wondering mind,
Bathed in a white foamy smoke.
Worries have only just started
This is the horror that, night after night,
Sits grinning on my pillow….
I was going to go to church
Instead I bought a pineapple
Low sky and high clouds
Time stops when we reach the moon
I closed my eyes on Saturday,
Woke up Monday midday.
My sleep was filled with pains,
Although awake, some of it remains,
My hands are scarred,
For I hit a wall so hard.
The blisters slowly grow,
For I didn’t want to let go.
My feet hanging off the edge,
For I was holding onto a bridge.
My lungs are dry and quail,
For I did wail.
Now I lay in silence,
Waiting for a friendly presence.
But the wooden door stays closed,
And only the outside light shows.
I cannot see any blue,
The winter azure has no hue.
Its vivid glow hurts my eyes
On this sad day of white skies.